Regrets...


I don't remember much after the stroke. I had other things on my mind.Not being able to be a photographer anymore didn't seem to worry me like i thought it should.. Ambition left me like a ship sailing into the distance, with the people on board having a bad karaoke night. Mandy looked after my cameras and lenses. She knew how much they meant to me even though I couldn't use them again. Just when i had become good i had it all snatched away from me.

My whole life changed and i had to accept it. All of my dreams were locked away and all i could do was think how it might have been. The stroke left me relying on an electric wheelchair to get about in and one limb (my left hand) that works. But not that well as it happens. People around me have been good. They see i struggle and accept it. I never imagined that i would be like this in a million years.

it's changed the way i see things and that's helped me a lot. If i knew then what i know now and put these ideas into practice i would have been happier. Even though having a stroke has left me helpless i'm happy that i found someone who let me live my dreams. I've had a lot of time to think about it and i refuse to adopt a negative outlook on my situation. It would serve no purpose.

I don't know the answer to life's little prolems - even though i think i do. Having a stroke made me see that. Things could have been a lot worse. Giving up smoking, cutting out salt and having a decent blood pressure have all improved my chances of not having another stroke. It could be fatal next time.

Comments

  1. Focussing on the negative (tempting as it can be) doesn't help does it? Changing what we can and accepting/adapting to the rest does. Not easy lessons though.
    Well done for your positive changes. Very, very well done.

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  2. No, it doesn't help. I've been through the worst.

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  3. I echo Elephant's Child in saying well done for your positive changes. It can't be easy. And so many people who are able-bodied don't realize they are one step away from being in the same position - one accident, one stroke, one diagnosis. Tomorrow it could be one of them. Or me. It was something that struck me so forcefully in the days after my father's stroke. The rest of the world was going on as usual. I, and all these other people, were walking down the street like it was nothing. It's not nothing when you can't do it.

    My post about my Dad's stroke will be posted on Friday. In it I have put links to the two other posts about him, so they are easy to find. Do you mind if I link to your blog from my post?

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  4. Giving up smoking is a huge accomplishment. That is something to be very proud of!

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