Learning to talk again....


For most people it will never happen. It can be so frustrating when it does. Projecting your voice and have someone know what you're talking about is what i mean. Trying to have a conversation with someone and not being fully understood, particularly when you've had a stroke, is something that CAN happen. Your speech isn't ALWAYS what you lose when you have a stroke. But when you do, it's so easy to lose your self-confidence with it. You don't always get your voice back either. Well not how you'd like it to be, anyway.

Since 2013 i've struggled with getting my point across. People don't always understand me.
Having a stroke has meant i can't walk, talk or eat properly. I never will. At first, it used to bother me but now i'm used to it i don't mind so much. Being able to communicate with other people is so important. That's why i like to blog. Writing about the things that affect me allows me to be represented and that's all i've ever wanted. I find it helps a lot.

This is something we all take for granted. Imagine how difficult it is for me to be understood, then. I've had the same problem for nearly five years now. It dosn't get any easier. People who can talk don't realise how lucky they are. Imagine what it's like to not have a proper conversation with anybody since 2013. There is so much i want to say.

There is nothing wrong with my hearing and my ability to read. Talking is another matter. That's what strokes are so good at doing. They strip you of your dignity. And your rights. Try to see how long you can go without talking. It won't be long.

Comments

  1. Hi Treey. I'm glad I found your blog. I feel for your struggle though I'll never really know how you deal with everything. I think you're right that we take our voice for granted, as we do lots of things. On a very unimportant note, I sprained my thumb in June and didn't realize how much I relied on it. Sounds silly but it's a little example of things I take for granted. You're a strong person!

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  2. Hi rain, I don't really mind how anybody feels about my situation. Feel sorry for the parents of the 6 year-old who died yesterday. I know I do.
    Spraining your thumb isn't silly. It must have hurt a lot. I'm not a strong person really although a lot of people think I am. Many people would've handled things better than me. They'll think "what's the fucking fuss about?". They'd be right too.
    You probably have more grit and determination than me.! Thanks for posting. I'm going to follow your blog because I found it to b really interesting.

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  3. I can't imagine not being able to talk...how on earth would I be able to nag the hubs.. I'll bet he wouldn't mind if I were silenced for a bit. I'm so glad you found blogging to give yourself an outlet. I'm here because I needed an outlet as well....the hubs is almost completely deaf so I have to shout when I nag him....not a pleasant situationn for either of us. Conveersation at a normal decibel level is pretty much impossible. There are probably a lot of us on blogger who are here to share our thoughts with someone who cares to 'listen'.

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    1. I like to read blogs. It's something I never tire of.

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  4. So often we don't appreciate what we have until it is gone. Or damaged. Or painful. After her stroke my mother's speech was affected. I remember how frustating it was for her, and for us. She (mostly) did get it back, but it wasn't easy.

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  5. It must have have been hard. It'll never happen with me, but hey ho.

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  6. We certainly take some things for granted including our voice. I've had a relation who had mild stroke, a very scary experience indeed. I can't begin to imagine your struggle. Warm greetings and best wishes.

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    1. Greetings to you.


      It's blog that tells my problems and why I go through them. There are people worse off than me. I appreciate that.

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  7. I can only imagine how difficult and frustrating this is for you and for everyone who experiences it. I'm glad you are able to blog and communicate these thoughts and feelings.

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    1. Life is difficult and frustrating. I shouldn't moan about it so much.

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    2. Trying to seek attention is not my game and never has been.
      We have enough of them here for that.
      No, this is a record of what I'm going through.
      It doesn't really need any comments such as "you poor thing...".
      I've had enough of Trudi making out she needs attention when she should stop treating people like dirt. It gets on my nerves! There are people far worse off and not making so much fuss about it.

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  8. Hi Treey, thanks, I appreciate your comment on my blog. I don't write much because I never stop long enough to write, and I only write when I'm inspired and not feeling rushed to get something done. I work on our Dairy Farm 7 days a week and I'm in charge of caring for the calves and doing the yard work, the household chores and everything in between.

    You have been through quite a difficult period of your life and I'm amazed at how well you write your thoughts. It's a blessing that you can express yourself in writing although I'm sure you would prefer talking and having conversation like you used to. You write very well.

    Maybe it would be a good thing to do to write down how you feel about how you've been treated and how it affects you dignity, causing you frustration that hinders your healing to some TV network or newspaper or health care provider... Everyone is affected differently from a stroke so reading your story has been eye opening to me.
    The blog is a good thing and it gets the word out but is somewhat limited in reaching an audience.

    I hope you can educate those who take care of stroke patients through your writing so they can change the way they approach the way they care for the patient's dignity.
    Good luck.
    Julia

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    1. Thanks Julia.

      You have a good writing style.
      I don't worry too much about getting a limited audience. It's not everybody's cup of tea. Disability. I don't write to get attention for myself. Unless you're disabled you'd really rather not talk about it. It's something you know is there, but you don't want it ramming down your throat all the time. I understand that and would probably be the same.
      Thanks for the comments.
      Terry.

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  9. The fact that you can type out what you want to say is great though. When my grandma had a brain aneurysm when I was a kid, it took her a long time to be able to talk again. At least you're able to get your thoughts out in your blog. That's a plus.

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    1. Yes, it definitely helps. It's good to stay in touch with outside world. I enjoy reading your reviews and your opinions. Why it was good etc. I'm interested in that sort of thing a lot. I don't think I would make a good reviewer though. Reading 2 or 3 books a day takes a lot of commitment which I don't have.

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  10. Thanks for your comments on my blog.
    I take a lot for granted. I read an article about making a list of some things to be grateful for each day, about 3 items. It can be any small thing like a great meal, wonderful weather, interesting blogs and so on.
    Sometimes I have to include anything in order to make the 3 items; things like not having a headache or stomach ache or having a great night's sleep. I write them down on an index card that I look over at the end of the week. It feels stupid a lot of the time but I think it helps my mood just a little.

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    1. If you feel the need to do it, it's ok by me. Your blog is top notch. I couldn't work out the A-ha link though.

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  11. You are right Terry. Those of us who have the power of speech take it for granted. It must be very frustrating to have things to say but not being able to say them. Christ it's 2017 - four years without holding proper conversations. These days there must be computer-based devices that could assist you.

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    1. Fair enough YP, but you don't want me stressing you out all the time. It's not your fault I'm disabled fault is it?

      Not sure about the voice thing. I might end up with something (summat) with a Yorkshire accent and say 'flower' at the end of every sentence.

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    2. They could give you a Californian drawl - like one of The Beach Boys.

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    3. I grew up with the Beach Boys' music.

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    4. In Hinckley, I bet all the lads wished that their local wenches "could all be Californian girls"

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    5. I'm sure they'd prefer Canadian accents if they heard them.

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  12. Just getting caught up with your latest posts, Terry - I've fallen behind! Excellent post on losing your voice, both literally and figuratively. Yes, a stroke strips away a lot of dignity. No matter what abilities it leaves a person with, the dignity takes a beating. You do a good job of explaining what I also saw with my father. I often thought it's why many of the caregivers he had were very jokey - to try and make everyone more comfortable and give back some of the dignity. They treated him like they'd treat anyone, joking around. It really helped get his mind off the indignities he had to live with.

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  13. Joking around is more important than it sounds. Quite a bit.
    I tried to express myself today and it used to be so easy to do. Today though it was impossible to get my point across and I became so frustrated with it all. When you're in this condition you get used to failure.

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  14. I've often mentioned to people how truly fragile we human beings are. No matter who we are or what we do in life something like a sprained thumb in Rains case and a stroke in your case and Sciatica in my case can simply take all the fight out of us and we suddenly realize how fragile we are.

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    1. Yes, but it's no good letting life beat us up like this. Think positive thoughts. That's all you can do. You've got a kid to look after.

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  15. Hello Treey ... It's been a while since I commented on your blog and this one has a new look! I like it ...
    I've just re-found you again from Only Slightly Confused (Delores) blog.

    There is so much we do take for granted and have the cheek to moan about, when others would just wish they were able to voice their moan!!!

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thanks Jan, when I was 'normal' I used to take everything for granted..
      I gave up blogging for six months then I did a search of my name, found a post by Procrastinating Donkey and slowly began to blog again.

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  16. I had a stroke, it took me 10 years, and I haven't anything to say. It was when I could talk about anything, truly.

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  17. I'd have plenty to say if I could talk.

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  18. Comments gone again from your latest post. I like lots of the music from the sixties and seventies better than the Beatles - but still know the words and melody to most of the Fab Four's work.

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    1. They weren't the best band. Fare from it.

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  19. Comments gone again from the post on Trump.
    And, from what I have seen he is much more interested in making Trump (and his family) great than America. The things he has (so far) been stopped from doing would have hurt people who need support.

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