The stress factor is a killer though
I'm beginning to doubt whether my marriage to Mandy is a good thing or not.. We've been married for two years now and though we get on ok, i would hate it if she ever blamed me for ruining her life. I've got to say, at this point, that any confidence i ever had in myself as a human being has been lost; i've lost the ability to walk and talk; i'm having hallucinations; and am just so miserable about myself in general. My decision to quit smoking had backfired on me - i'm so argumentative with everyone. I'm in a dark place right now. I'm suffering from....the stress factor.
Dealing with stress is so essy when you're 'normal'. I'm not 'normal' though. I can't go for a run or talk about it with anyone. My next-door neighbour does concorde impressions. He's a heavy smoker and to coughs a lot. Now i know how it sounds when Concorde comes in to land. .We don't have anywhere to go to go to to get away from the constant coughing noise he makes. It's disgusting. We don't have anywhere to go - a quiet room - to get away from the constant noise of pop music Trudi likes it loud. From 8am till as late as she can. Not everybody like it that loud. Especially when you're trying to read a book.
It'll take a lot to see the end of me and Mandy. We've been together for 27 years and she helps to destress me. If it wasn't for her help i'd be a lot worse off. I've got my ipad whiich helps a lot. It's brilliant and i wouldn't do without it. Having a sense of humour and taking the piss out of everything i see is something i enjoy doing. Giving up smoking is important. It means i can do anything i want. It takes strength of character to do it. All of the smokers there - there are quite a few - haven't a cat in hells chance of doing it.
But managing stress is a full-time occupation for me . Sometimes, i struggle with it. Cooking used to help me, but i can't do it these days. It's a mental health issue that won't go away. I've seen my friend suffer from it. Stress is something you have to take seriously.