Saturday, August 26, 2017

I don't know...


...if other stroke victims are feeling it too, but the pain i used to have has gotten substantially worse. All i can do is bite the bullet and bear it. I don't really have any other choice. People have experienced worse pain, i'm sure. I haven't been told what i should expect, i just know it is getting worse. No longer do i look forward to the nighttime and the peaceful sleep it brings. Nowadays, i dread the mornings arriving and feeling like a punchbag when it comes.

You'd think 'thank goodness for the painkillers', but they don't work. Paracemol. The only thing that does any good are the prescription drugs and they involve having an injection. Having an injection every day is something i couldn't bear. And, thankfully, there's no doctor that will get up at that time in the morning to give it. The pain is still there when they give me the exercises that are supposed to help, but very rarely do. Meanwhile, my fingers are clenched so tightly into the palm of my right hand. That can't be a good thing.

When i think back to how it used to be, i get worried that it might actually get worse. I don't see how that could possibly happen, but it could. There must be thousands of people having to put up with this every day of the week. We never hear about it, though. Pull yourself together mate. Are you going to let a bit of pain beat you or are you going to show them what you're really made of. It's the kind of pain that never goes away, not while you're still alive.

How do other people put up with it? It's a stupid question really because they don't have any choice. They have to bear it, whether they like it or not. They'll psyche themselves up like i do, everyday.
The afternoons are the best part of the day, but they soon lead into night and before long it's morning again.

18 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Pain is not something that is easy to deal with.

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    1. I have to deal with it every day, but so do thousands of others.

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  2. Pain is a bitch isn't it? And encompasses your whole life. And no, paracetemol doesn't even touch the sides...
    I often wake up shrieking because of muscle spasms. And am v grateful for days when the level is subdued.

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    1. PS: These days I give myself injections (not for the pain) every second day. Not a skill I ever expected to have to learn.

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    2. Pain is definitely a bitch, but I can't feel the pain that other people go through. Pregnant mothers give birth and don't moan about the pain as much as I do. But women can be tougher than you realise.

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    3. I believe that childbirth IS very painful. But it ends. Your pain doesn't.

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  3. I don't know how you cope with the continual pain you suffer. I know if it were me, I'd be the most grumpiest, most frustrated, crankiest, impatient of persons!

    Hold tight, Treey...with all your might.

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    1. I will try to, Lee..I don't really have any choice in the matter.

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  4. Chronic pain is hard for those who don't have it to really understand.

    My dad had the curled hand, too. The carers used to roll up a washcloth (tube shaped) and place it inside the fingers. It helps a bit to keep the fingers less tightly curled.

    I'm lucky not to mind injections but it's hell for those who do.

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    1. Having a washcloth is a good idea. I've gota rubber ball to do that for me.

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  5. I have borrowed Jenny's first sentence. It is difficult for those who are pain free to understand just how much you and others have to suffer. The only REAL pain I have ever suffered was once through skin grafts for severe burns, the burn didn't hurt because the nerve was burnt through but the treatment was a nightmare. However, it was the sort of pain that eventually goes away, unlike the sort you have to suffer all the time. I wish you well, Treey.

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  6. Thanks, Valerie. I'm sure thousands go through the same thing every day.

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  7. I am so sorry that you have to deal with so much pain every day.

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  8. I'm sorry to hear this. It must be extremely exhausting to deal with this chronic pain.

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    1. It CAN be. You learn to deal with it, just like you learn to deal with the annoying pricks that are out there. Life is no bed of roses as you will eventually discover. You can overcome anything if you set your mind to it.

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  9. Well Treey, you sound like you are made of something quite substantial. I appreciate that you share your thoughts pretty well unvarnished. I hope that sometimes you see your own struggle and your own valor in dealing with life as it is for you without any thought of or for others. I hope you know what I mean - I haven't explained my thoughts very well, but I think you will understand.

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    1. Hi Liv, thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. I think I know what you meant. It's a long, hard struggle and I like to share my thoughts on the problems that I have to face out there. No-one else will. It's not easy living this way but there's nothing i can do about it. Strokes are a very serious condition and I'm trying to educate people as to what they 'll have to face now or in the future. Most people are affected one way or another by strokes and I think they should know as much as they can about them.

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