Cancer can be a real scare...


I remember hearing about David's cancer and how helpless i felt.
David, my youngest brother, is the kind of guy who could live with having a stroke. That's how tough he is. You could say to him "hey Dave, look after this stroke for me for 10 minutes, will you?" and he'd say "ok then" and he'd do it. No problem. Having to do chemotherapy for 8 months is a different thing though. You lose your hair, your appetite and you feel tired all the while. It takes a lot of time to do and it's time you could spend down the pub.

i remember him coming home from the army. His eyes were black and blue. He'd beaten everybody at boxing but didn't want anyone to know. It was his business. He doesn't have a wife but he has a son that he loves to bits. He doesn't have much to do with mum. I don't know why. He lives his life as if he's Clint Eastwood in 'High Plains Drifter'. I see very little of him and i bet he's tried to keep his cancer treatment a secret. That's the way he is. I still remember a 10 year-old kid with that cheeky smile on his face just trying to convince everyone, for the past thirty years, that he bears a resemblance to Tom Cruise.

Since i had the stroke, i've seen very little of him. This stroke has that effect on most relationships. I start to think about Dave. He hasn't smoked in his entire life and that leads me to believe that i may have seen the last of him that i'll ever see. I hope that's not the case. I don't think grief is something i can handle right now. I wish i'd known what was going to happen to me and when. I could have time to sort my life out, then. Things always happen when you least expect them to.

Having the stroke has been devastating for me. It could happen to anybody in the future. Make sure it isn't you. When i was younger i wouldn't have taken any advice as seriously as i should. Give up smoking and cut down on your salt intake. Go to the doctor's and get your blood pressure checked out. This post is to do with cancer and there's not much you can do about that. Having a stroke is something you can do to prevent it happening to you, though.

Comments

  1. So many people in my family have had cancer. It's a scary thing.

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    1. It's a scary thing to have involved in your life. In my case it's just a matter of waiting to die. It's something that Mandy doesn't like to talk about but it's true. Having cancer is being told more or less when you're going to die. That's not easy to get your head around. My uncle was dead 3 months after being told he had cancer.

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  2. Hi Terry, you're right that things always happen when we least expect them. I can relate to what you said in my case, the burnout had the same effect with my relationships. It was hard at first, but after many years, I somehow came to accept it and have become more happily reclusive as a result. I hope you get to see your brother again. I don't know how I'd handle chemo. I did have a bout with skin cancer, but a surgery to remove the cell worked for me...though I have a scar under my nose to show for it. I've been told to keep an eye out for signs of further cancer, which I do obsessively now.

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    1. Hi Rain 🙂 I'd do the chemo if If i thought it'd make a difference. Somehow I don't think it would. it's not that I'm brave because I don't think I am, particularly. I'm sure that I'll see my brother again. I just don't know when, that's all. It's amazing how we're given new challenges and we have to deal with them the best way that we can.

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  3. Chemotherapy is seriously nasty. I so hope your brother comes safely out the other side. And I hear you about losing people when it becomes obvious that your disability isn't going away.

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    1. I hope he gets better too. Being disabled and to lose somebody is what can happen to you. I'm never going to get any better so it's something that I have to deal with.

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  4. Cancer can hit anyone at anytime no matter how healthy you think you are. It's very scary. My husband had it five years ago but caught it early. He's lucky.
    Heart attack, stroke. Keeping healthy and having check ups helps but so many people ignore the warning signs or don't realise what they are. H had a heart attack too many years ago. Fortunately for him he is one of those who runs off to the doc at the slightest thing. Saved his life twice.

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    1. Leading a jet-set lifestyle (as you do..) leads to being subject to cancer. No-one is immune to it. There are thousands of victims I'm sure who would love to lead a different life.

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  5. Hi Treey, gee, I spelled your name right this time. I guess typing isn't my thing. I'm a two finger typist and I make lots of mistake.

    In December 2002, I had just arrived home from an all day trip with my husband and there was a message on the phone that sounded urgent and serious. It was my doctor asking me to call the office as soon as possible.

    I learned that the mammogram showed possible sign of breast cancer and that I needed surgery right away.
    Very serious business. I was totally shocked but my first thought was how do I tell this to my husband, my kids and my mom. At this point, it wasn't about me but how to gently break the news to my love ones. Things like this is supposed to happen to other people and not me.

    I was asked to show up at the hospital and the breast had to be removed right away.
    I have always went to my regular mammograms but nothing showed on the results until now.

    To make a long story short, I was told I would probably die of it. I went through chemo and my hair fell off by the handful. I sat up in bed one morning and saw myself in my big oval mirror on my dresser and said to myself out loud, " This is my reality and I will deal with it".

    I surrendered to a higher power, for me it's Jesus. I said if you want me now, I'm ready and if you want me to live, I'm ready too. I was immediately filled with peace. After that, I had a zest to live life to the fullest. I wore a mask to protect myself and gor serious stares with my bald head but I didn't care. I had nothing to be ashamed of. This was my reality.
    It's 2017 and I'm still here. I learned that there's power in positive thinking and negative thinking is a killer.

    I hope that you younger brother comes through this bout with cancer. There has been a lot of progress made in the cure.
    Hugs, Julia

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    1. i hope he makes it and I'm sure he will. What you went through must have been very scary. It's good that you're still here though. I like your reasoning. I don't think I'd see things quite so calmly.

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    2. Treey, when you're stuck with your back to the wall and a hard rock, there;s just no place to go. I realized that I was totally powerless and I better accept what was happening to me. I had no where else to turn but to a higher power. Today I'm healthy and I baffle my doctors and although, I was diagnosed diabetic, with high bloods pressure and high cholesterol, I'm health, my blood sugar remains fantastic and everything is in the middle range so I'm doing well. Soy was feeding my cancer so I read all labels on bought food and stay away from ant thing that contain soy or soy by products and that is about everything that is prepackaged. I don;t eat margarine or Bissell and I don't even eat things that has shortening as it also has soy in it but I eat butter and pure lard. I'm healthier than I've been in years and i'll be 71 this november. shtttt. I'm getting old. Don't let this old picture fool you...
      Hugs, Julia

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    3. My son's birthday is in November too. I didn't have any idea that you have to watch what you eat.

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  6. I hope you get to see your brother. I find it sad when siblings drift apart. Cancer is a nasty disease that randomly chooses its victims. My father had it twice. He kicked it to the curb the first time but it returned 12 years later to claim his life.

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    1. Hi Martha,

      That's a sad ending to a sad story.
      I agree that cancer is a nasty disease.

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  7. I doubt we will ever solve the ins and outs - the what ifs - of life. My late brother, Graham, never smoked in his life...he didn't even experiment with cigarettes, not once, during his teen years. He ate the right food...always believing in "fresh" is best, etc. He was a moderate drinker...but never frequented bars...because he hated cigarette smoke' and yet, in 1998 at the age of 56 he passed away from an aggressive throat cancer.

    And there a couple of weeks ago was my niece-by-default - at age 39 years with a loving husband and two young daughters aged 11 and 9 - was tragically killed by a wayward, reckless truck driver...on the footpath/driveway of their home...six feet or so from their carport!

    There are no answers...there is no rhyme or reason....not that I can see or understand, anyway.

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    1. That's so sad to hear those two stories. It makes me upset to hear things like that. It really doesn't make any sense at all.

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  8. Get your life in order starting today. Why wait for a death sentence to get going? My father was hospitalized at 69, had exploratory surgery. They closed him up...no hope. He went home and a friend drove him to the doctor a few days later, on a Friday. The doc told him he had 6 months to live. He called me that night and we had a long talk. He was totally himself. My daughters and I arrived at his house the next morning and he couldn't walk by himself, could hardly talk, and didn't even know who we were! He was hospitalized that night and died at 5 p.m. on Sunday. He was buried 4 days after talking to the doctor, not 6 months as promised! My point is, we never know how long we have. Stop dying and start living.

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  9. Unbelievable. So sad. More people should realise that they're living on borrowed time. You have to make the most of what time you have left.

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  10. "Things always happen when you least expect them to." Indeed. Twelve years ago my sister was diagnosed with motor neurone disease and became rapidly disabled. I had a prostate operation recently and was told afterwards the surgeon had found a small trace of prostate cancer. I'm now awaiting an MRI scan to see if there's anything else festering away. My father had a stroke at 55, probably because of high blood pressure. I don't think he had ever had his blood pressure checked and didn't know it was so high. He was a very bad-tempered man, liable to explode at any moment, and that can't have helped.

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  11. I never had my blood pressure checked out. I thought I was okay. How wrong was I.

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  12. Hi Terry,
    Thank you for visiting me at Harvest Lane Cottage. Your words were very encouraging to me. You mentioned not being a believer. As I'm sure you could tell, I am. I am going to pray for you just as soon as I hit publish on this comment. My relationship with God has made my diagnosis and my journey much easier to handle.
    Take care of yourself,
    Laura

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    1. Thanks, your site grabbed my attention on an emotional level. I was in tears.

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  13. I'm sorry to head about your brother, Terry. I hope you get to see him again. It seems that cancer can be so random. There are things we can do to improve our health, but there is always a wild card, too.

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    1. I hope he gets better too. He is somebody who drank in smoky pubs when they were trendy places to go, I suppose.

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