Discrimination against the disabled...

There's a discrimination against the disabled that no-one talks about and only the disabled will see as being there. It's called 'exclusion' and no law will ever change it. Only people's attitudes will change it. People's thoughts of the disabled and whether they accept them or not is something we can't change by creating a law about it. Ignoring the disabled and pretending they're not there is something that goes on everyday. It's only when you become disabled that you recognise it. Some people accept the disabled. Some don't.

Only now do blacks and gays get the kind of laws that give them a new freedom. It's been a long time coming. You can't change the way that people feel though. In blogging terms they are ignored. You find an excuse to never visit their site. It's a silent discrimination..
Not everyone regards the disabled this way. They're accepted as a part of the community and their disability is not seen as a problem. Why should being black or gay ever be seen as being a problem?
I can't talk for the blacks or gays but i can speak for the disabled.
My messge to the disablrd coming onto blogger is this: keep your disability a secret!

I'll keep this post here so that people know why i've lost my appetite for posting any more blogposts.
The biggest mistake i did was to tell people the truth.

The lorry driver in me...

I've spent a bit of my time driving lorries around. I had a lot of it in north Wales and got to know the place really well. I always used to say, the best road in Wales is the road leading you out of it. But i was only joking when i said it. Really, i think the Welsh people are great and a lot nicer than the English are. Most of it depends on who you meet, though. You can find the good and bad in everyone as Paul McCartney once said. The Welsh hate to lose at Rugby Union to England. I know that for a fact. All road signs in Wales are in English and Welsh. That's because there English and Welsh speakers are living there. It's 165 miles to the hotel i used to stay at.
An interesting fact: a singer doing a performance one night managed to swap his wireless microphone for my bottle of beer. I flushed the loo, the noise was relayed to the crowd who loved it and i got a standing ovation when i returned.

The scenery in Wales was quite spectacular to an ordinary Englishman (your honour) and breathtaking too. Close to Mount Snowdon is the village of Llanberis which needs to be explored, if you're into that kind of thing. When it's light you can see the mountain and will really be in awe of it. The nearby Horseshoe Pass is well-worth the visit too.
Wales is one part of the UK i visited. Whilst there i stayed in a hotel overnight and returned the next day.
Not everybody wanted to be away from their families, which is understandable. Going to Wales was definitely an experience though.

Another experience was going to Sheffield. It was tough-going mentally when you went there, but i'm glad i went. It is a brilliant city to go to and you really feel the vibrance of the place when you're there. There is an energy that courses through your veins and makes you realise (even after all this time) what a special place it is. And how lucky you were to be there. Its hilliness is different to Leicester even though it's not THAT far away. I remember Stannington very well it's a a place that, once you go to it, you'll never forget it.

i had many years of driving a lorry. I include Birmingham, Worcester,York, Coventry, Leicester and Burton-on-Trent among my visits. It was never easy. I didn't expect it to be. It's a young man's job. But how young is young? You needed to be at least 25 to drive a HGV and if you weren't a man before you started the job, you were a man when you finished it. That's for sure.

Having a laff, innit...

They say that laughter is a good medicine and i've been laughing at two of Paul's jokes all day. I can't help it. They're so funny - i can't stop myself from giggling. I'm in stitches. Tears are literally rolling down my face. Maybe it's the way that he tells them too. With me, laughing and eating don't go together well. I'm in danger of choking on my toast.

Paul: have you heard about the gay Australian?
Me: No.
Paul: he's fell out with his boyfriend and is going back to Sidney.

As soon as i heard that, i was helpless. He followed it up with anotther joke and i was gone;

Paul: Have you heard about the gay carpenter?
He: No
Paul: He always leaves you with a saw behind.

i couldn't speak. For hours...and hours!

Giving up smoking...

Giving up smoking has made me feel like i can do anything i want to. It's been several weeks now since i gave up and the risk of getting another stroke is the reason why i've given up. I've already had one stroke and i consider it very lucky that i didn't die from it. Lots of people have died from having a stroke while those don't die suffer because of it. Smoking leads to disease and disability and harms nearly every organ of the body More than 16 million Americans are living with a disease caused by smoking.For every person who dies because of smoking, at least 30 people live with a serious smoking-related illness. Smoking causes cancer, heart disease, stroke, lung diseases, diabetes, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), which includes emphysema and chronic bronchitis.

It makes you wonder why anyone smokes at all when you see what's at risk. You're really dicing with death when you smoke. I'm alive despite having a stroke. It's not fair to those who are dependant on you to let them know why you passed away and that you could've done something to prevent it. Giving up's not easy. But nothing has been easy for me (take my word for it) since having the stroke in Febuary 2013. Think of it as a question of whether you want to live or die. The choice is yours.

Think of how much money you could save if you didn't smoke. There are always positives to everything.
The guy lives next door to me is the biggest advert for not smoking there has ever been. The noise he makes every day just shows you what smoking will do for you. Be very scared because i am. He's younger than me and nobody will be surprised if he died from cancer tomorrow. Having a stroke was bad enough. I don't want to go through it all again.

i don't want anybody to think of me as a preacher of virtuous living, but there's a lot to be said for living life that way. How i live my life is not to be recommended to anybody unless you want to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair like i do. If only i could do it again i would. My son ignores the advice i give to him. Why he does that is anybody's guess. If i can't convnce him, why shoul i bother with anyone else?

Testing

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Time moves so quickly...

It's nearly five years now since i entered this world of disability. It's a world that, like it or not, i've had to grow used to. I remember how different it was when i was just a small kid though. In 1971 Elvis ruled the world. There was an English group called 'The Beatles' who had become famous, then split up. It would be several years before i liked them, anyway. I liked 'The Beach Boys', an amazing American group, more. I also remember doing things a disabled person could never do. Like climb the stairs. I didn't envy a kid who had a disabilty back then. It is so hard now, so imagine what it was must've been like in those days. Anyway, the years rolled on and i grew up. The black, leather jacket that i'd brought from a catalogue was a little worse for wear and Burt Reynolds was probably the most famous man of the 1970s.

Nothing was digital in the 1970s. Everything was very basic. It isn't basic nowadays and that's a shame in some ways. The trouble is that you can't halt progress. There are inventions that we'll see in the future that will amaze us, i bet. It's almost inevitable that the world will change for the better. We just don't know. There are exciting times ahead. I may even be using a voicebox if my speech gets much worse than it is.

Already in big shops, like Tesco, there have been big changes in the way that people pay for goods. These changes wouldn't have been available in the 1970s.
One big change that will come will be the passing of the Queen. She's in her 90s now. It could happen next week, it could happen next year. Despite what most people want, Prince Charles wiil become King. People power won't count for anything. They can shout as loud as they want to but they won't change anything. It's the same as when Donald Trump won the general election in America and when Britain voted to leave the EU.

Time changes everything. We can't do anything to stop it. Things that we thought would last forever don't. When John Lennon died in 1980 he killed off a lot of people's dreams. He could so easily have become the 'used to be' man. Paul McCartney has become one instead. McCartney lives off the memories of when he was in his 20s. It sounds like it too. The world has a new order, especially if you're an 11 year-old as i was back in 1971.

Your rights and when they get taken away from you...

Eveybody is entitled to rights. It doesn't matter whether you're straight or you're gay. Black or white, male or female. It doesn't matter if you're old or you're young. It shouldn't matter if you're disabled or not. But it does In my opinion (not that that counts for very much either) you're discriminated against if you're disabled. I was banned from eating toast. I wouldn't mind but I'd been eating it for 3 years at the time so i thought "hey, this is wrong" and decided to appeal the verdict. I won, so the result was that it was overturned. The same thing happened with baked beans.....and toasties....and pastry....and cheesecake.....and wotsits. I am so fed up with the bans that I have decided to take legal action to try and win back my rights.v They (SALT) should first prove i can't eat something before banning it. That's all i'm asking for.

i'm still waiting for the case to happen. If i win i won't do things a lot differently. There are certain foods i won't attempt to eat, but there are certain foods i will. I'm not a risk take I know i've missed out on a lot of foods because of the decisions of SALT. They are a terrible organisation who thrive on affecting people's lives. A bit like the SS did in nazi Germany. I'm a grown man and they have made me ill many times. I hate to admit it,. The only reason i'm still here is because of Mandy and Jonny. If i was on my own i wouldn't have cared either way what happened to me.

I know that SALT have a job to do. They don't do it properly is what i'm saying. Enough is enough. it's just a matter of time before they push me too far.


Writing this blog and reading other peoples' blogs has helped me keep my sanity so far, but i feel like it's not enough. Everyday feels like Groundhog Day for me. Nothing has changed and everyday seems exactly like the one before it.

I now know what it's like to be a black man living in America. You'll either be in death row in prison or you'll have a cop using you for target practise. That's if six of them haven't strangled you already. I'm being punished as it is. The last thing i need is a bunch of smart arses telling me what they THINK i should be eating. Do you know what i think? Maybe you should try a few days in MY shoes! That's if you have what it takes.. i very much doubt that you do.

Playing cricket...is just so English/Australian

Most of you won't know what i'm talking about when i say this - or you'll have to put the kettle on when i talk about it - because it has become so boring - i used to love to play a game of cricket. There's nothing i know that is anything like it. What a lovely way of spending the day. When the sun shone: you got plenty to eat. plenty of food half-way through the game, and plenty to drink down the pub after the match had finished. Saturdays were hectic for me: it was rare for the team to finish drinking before midnight. Committing myself to playing every Saturday wasn't fair on Mandy. I can see that now. I played it, all the same.

We, the fleur de lys, were so serious about the game that It was almost an insult to call it just 'a game'. We all had our heroes. We didn't talk about them a lot, though. Mine was Jeff Thomson, the great Australian fast bowler, who you watched from behind the settee, he was so quick at bowling. You had the feeling he wouldn't fight just one bloke. He'd fight the whole pub. And win. Then he'd have buttered scones for tea. Nah, he'd have to drink a six pack. Then feast on two zebras. Uncooked.

How the batsmen could only wear a floppy cap when the ball flew past their heads like a bullet is the stuff of nightmares. If it hit - sometimes it would - if they didn't get back up quickly enough they were weaklings. In reality they often needed intensive care, if they were lucky.
Sometimes a batsman would get hit painfully on the chest. The sound of a ribcage breaking would fill your eardrums,and you'd turn to whoever was sitting next to you, grimace and say "He must be from Yorkshire!, him".

i wondered why i played the game at the risk of being badly injured. I don't really know the answer to that question. I'm not from Yorkshire, you see.
Men are men, though. As long as you didn't have Jeff Thomson bowling at you you'd survive. There was always the sandwiches to look forward to. And the beer. And taking the wife shopping.

When they said they were going to put me in an electric chair...

My electric chair (much like the one above) has been a major factor in me becoming more independant. Without it i would have struggled. Of that, i'm sure. It becomes very tiring to propel a wheelchair around all day. I could cope without one at the hospital in Leamington because it was very flat over there. Here in Hinckley, though, i need something to get me up the ramps in the home. Hinckley is very hilly too. An electric chair is an ideal solution for that. Speeds vary from 1 (very slow) to 5 (lewis Hamilton-speed). There's a place in Leicester that does them and i went there (when i was at Leamington) to get the chair sorted out.

It upsets me a bit to know that i've gone from somebody who used to walk everywhere, to a person who is reliant on a wheelchair to get about. I can't do anything about it. Anyway, the chair is charged-up at nighttime when i'm in bed. In the morning it's fully-charged and ready for me to use. I've become an expert in driving it (despite what Pauline might think) and can handle any situation thrown at me. I don't live in an ideal situation, but we make the most of what we can.

The electric chair is like a part of me that i'd really miss if it was taken away from me and i hope that day doesn't come too soon. The controls are situated where my left hand can reach them. There's a joystick which i use to go forwards or backwards. I can use it to adjust to adjust my seating position too. Obviously, there are things i can't do (like go fishing, for instance). The chair is comfortable to use. It has to be when you when you consider how much i use it. There comes a time, however, when enough is enough (usually bedtime) and you have to be transferred somewhere else.

So far nothing has gone with my electric wheelchair. Well, except for the day it wasn't charging up. This was quite worrying for a couple of days. Until we realised that somebody had forgotten to turn the charger on. Apart from that little scare it's been ok, but you just know that somewhere down the line it won't work. When that day comes i will be the one to suffer. Even though i'm mentally incapacitated ( according to SALT) i will have to find out why it isn't working. I knew i was a genius, but nobody listened to me. Ever!

Camping is a gas...

I've not always been disabled. As a kid i was very into camping. I used to go regularly...

When Going camping with my parents when i was younger paved the way to my going to Cornwall, over 200 miles away, when i was 22. I was only a baby, but one who was willing to learn. I loved the independence of it all, of being able to choose what i was doing, and when i did it. To make the experience perfect you need a two-ringed cooker to take with you. It makes all the difference.

Cornwall was great. The quietness was deafening which was how i hoped it would be. The Cornish pasties down there were massive so i had half of one there and then and saved the rest for breakfast the next morning. In fact, ordering the pastie was the only time i spoke to anyone while i was there. It was the perfect getaway. I travelled back home from St. Ives by train (the same way i'd got there a week earlier).i went on my own, but if you can find someone to go with, so much the better.

There's nothing quite like camping. It gets you away from everything you want to get away from. When you've decided to give it a go it's taking the right equipment with you will make it all bearable. I've been camping many times now. The best things to take with you are;
a) a sleeping bag.
b) an air bed
c) a pump for the airbed.
d) a lamp.
e) a camping camping gas cooker.
i'd say the above are pretty much essentials. it's pointless going away without them. You don't need any really, but take my advice and take all of these with you.

you'll either love camping or you'll hate it. I'm a big fan of it. Sleeping is great; you'll find yourself drifting off in less than no time at all. When you get as bad as me you'll find out where your local camping shop is and spend all day looking through the stuff they're selling. Camping becomes a bug which you can't get rid of even if you want to.

Meeting Mandy....

It was 1990. I was 30 years old and everything was going to plan. No wife and no kids to hold me back. And neither would there ever be. My life would be lonely, yeah but that never bothered me a great deal. Then in October of that year i met Mandy. My life was going to change forever. We did everything together. No longer did i live for myself. In some ways i'm glad i met her and in other ways i'm not. I was prepared to live out my life as a hermit, but it didn't work out that way. I don't want to pass on my genes if i can help it.

Mandy is my best friend and there isn't anything i wouldn't do for her. I have learned to appreciate her company over the many years we've been together. She has shown how much i mean to her since my illness happened in 2013. Jon (my son) comes a close second.

Jon has proved what a great person he is on many occasions. He's 25 now and i have been missing for most of his childhood. That's probably what i regret most, but these things happen to us when we least expect it. We can't do anything about it. I wish we could.

It's been hard for me, but Mandy and Jon both try to help. So here i am with a wife and son. I never thought it would happen. My mind sometimes goes back to that day in 1990. It just goes to show you what can occur. Never assume anything in life, because it just won't happen the way you think it will. I remember those days at Blackburn Road in Barwell with affection. They were great days. I just wish i knew what lay in store.

I'll try not to make the same mistakes again. Living like this gives me plenty of time to think where i went wrong. I don't like to think too much. That's why i read books. Not all books have been great to read, though. Most have.
Most mornings are the same for me. I miss walking like crazy. Mandy doen't really like computers, but i do. It's changed over the years. Blogging is a great release. Bingo is a great release for Mandy. She'll need a holiday from me soon enough and, even rhough i don't have one she deserves hers.