Sunday, February 18, 2018

Loneliness (by Kate Leaver)


Loneliness is a stealthy bastard. It can settle in on your soul without you even noticing, until the texture of the words appear on your tongue one day: “I’m lonely.” It’s a hollow melancholy that wraps itself around your heart and stays there, whispering fear of social rejection in your ear and growing stronger, feeding on your insecurities.

As much as we may like to think it is a symptom of old age – the kind of thing that only happens when everyone you loved is laying supine six feet under – it can touch anyone from any age or demographic. Loneliness does not discriminate; it is so prolific that you could say it is an inevitable quirk of human existence. In loneliness, my friend, you are not alone: a Red Cross study revealed that 9 million people in the UK are always or often lonely.

You are right to want to cure your loneliness, of course. It is not just stifling and frightening and tedious; it is dangerous. According to researchers at Brigham Young University in Utah, US, (who reviewed data from studies that included 3.4 million people), loneliness can increase the risk of death by at least 30%. It is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and more tightly linked to our mortality than better-known lifestyle risks like obesity and lack of exercise.

Loneliness ravages our immune system, leaves us more vulnerable to cancer, affects our heart health, lowers our pain threshold, raises our blood pressure, tightens our arteries and puts us at greater risk of dementia. It is, as I said, a real bastard.

12 comments:

  1. Wow, that a lot of effects caused by loneliness. An awful lot of people suffer from loneliness. That's incredible. Sometimes we can be in a room full of people and still feel alone. We need connections, it's so important... Even if someone from far away communicate with us through blogs or other social media, it makes us feel less alone. We need someone to share our feelings and thoughts with. I think the fact that so many people are on social medias must indicate a certain amount of loneliness.
    However, as soon as they turn off their devices, they are still alone.

    Thanks for sharing this very enlightening article. Hugs, Julia

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  2. Our 20s are a golden era that we’ll never see again. What a thing to look forward to when you get older.

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  3. Yah, you're right.
    I'm sending a smile and a hug.
    Julia

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  4. That is a lot of damage it can do. Thank goodness for the internet; it can put us in touch with others in similar positions and give us ideas and hope for the future. Just a little hello can make a difference.

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  5. You are so right. Loneliness is a horrible thing and can cause a lot of damage. No matter the age, and not matter where we live (small town or big city), anyone can suffer from loneliness.

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    1. Well said, Martha. I don’t know how i’d cope, but for 9 months I did struggle with it. You need nerves of steel. It’s not impossible and millions of people have shown that it can be done.

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  6. Great information, and a reminder to hug a stranger, reach out on a blog, or to say hello by phone. Something small can make a difference,or save a life. Sending some cyber hugs your way! Hugs...RO

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    1. Thanks RO, being disabled like I am means that, for five years, communication has been very difficult. Not impossible - very difficult. it’s almost like loneliness in a way. It’s taken some getting used to. One minute you’re talking likes you normally do, the next you can’t.

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  7. I can remember times of loneliness in my younger days. It isn't a good feeling. And I assume I will feel it at some point in my future, when my life changes due to loss of those close to me. I find the internet is a good way to connect with like-minded people, a way we didn't have in the past. It gives us one more tool to deal with the pain of being lonely. That's a good thing in my eyes.

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    1. It can be an addiction and that’s the problem. My mate introduced me to online scrabble which I had to stop because I was getting too dependent on it.

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