Being disabled as i am, there are certains changes i experience within myself that are happening to me. They aren't good things either. Everything is taking a turn for the worse and there's nothing i can do about it. I just accept that i find it harder to get up in the morning, where at one time i used to spend the night reading a good book. I can't do that anymore and maybe i should be glad. I sometimes wonder if everybody who has a stroke goes through the same feeling processes that i do.
There must be somebody in the country who is going through the same thing that i am. They can't walk, struggle to talk and their eating and drinking is subject to plenty of eyebrow-raising too. I can't be the only one who struggles like this? How do i get in touch with them and find out what problems they have? One thing i do know about this condition is that it's very lonely. I'm not talking about how many people come to see me, either. If i could talk to them online, i would.
Everyday, in this country, someone goes down with an illness they can do little about. I've carried this condition around with me for nearly five years. It's not easy. At times, it's worse than others. I remember seeing a news story of somebody like me, who died after being like this for years. It must be such a relief when that happens There's no more pain to endure. If that happens to me i don't know how i'll feel. One thing i will say is that there is a distinct lack of communication between me and the people in charge. That's something i'm not happy with at all.
Being like this is not something i would wish on anybody. To put up with it you have to have nerves of steel. If i can give up smoking, why can't everybody? The time i went into hospital for an injection and had to have it five times. Do you realise how much an injection hurts? That's what i mean by "nerves of steel"