Being me...


Being disabled as i am, there are certains changes i experience within myself that are happening to me. They aren't good things either. Everything is taking a turn for the worse and there's nothing i can do about it. I just accept that i find it harder to get up in the morning, where at one time i used to spend the night reading a good book. I can't do that anymore and maybe i should be glad. I sometimes wonder if everybody who has a stroke goes through the same feeling processes that i do.

There must be somebody in the country who is going through the same thing that i am. They can't walk, struggle to talk and their eating and drinking is subject to plenty of eyebrow-raising too. I can't be the only one who struggles like this? How do i get in touch with them and find out what problems they have? One thing i do know about this condition is that it's very lonely. I'm not talking about how many people come to see me, either. If i could talk to them online, i would.

Everyday, in this country, someone goes down with an illness they can do little about. I've carried this condition around with me for nearly five years. It's not easy. At times, it's worse than others. I remember seeing a news story of somebody like me, who died after being like this for years. It must be such a relief when that happens There's no more pain to endure. If that happens to me i don't know how i'll feel. One thing i will say is that there is a distinct lack of communication between me and the people in charge. That's something i'm not happy with at all.

Being like this is not something i would wish on anybody. To put up with it you have to have nerves of steel. If i can give up smoking, why can't everybody? The time i went into hospital for an injection and had to have it five times. Do you realise how much an injection hurts? That's what i mean by "nerves of steel"




Comments

  1. Here at least the Stroke Foundation would put you in touch with people in similar positions who wanted/were able to talk. Do you have something similar?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I can't begin to imagine how you think - no doubt, you're mind is as active as a can of worms, trying to make sense of it all. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, every minute of every day...nor would I presume to know. Only you are the one who feels the pain, the unending frustrations, day in and day out.

    Further to Elephant's Child's comment above...have you come across this site/s, Treey?

    https://www.stroke.org.uk/

    https://www.stroke.org.uk/finding-support

    https://www.stroke.org.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwq7XMBRCDARIsAKVI5QaodsZZEpwnvTyRr03bCPibGClDzU5B3keO6wZGbaJB8EfY14jWwJEaAg5IEALw_wcB

    I wish you well...and I wish you peace of mind.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't come across these sites but I will investigate them. I go through somethings Lee, but I can survive them. I have to. I've got no choice.

      Delete
    2. Sorry...typo....I meant to type - "your", not "you're". :)

      It may be a small consolation only, Treey...but when things get you down...you still have us...you can vent much as you like...we can handle it! :)

      Delete
    3. Hey Lee you're a great writer, but predictive text pisses me off too. It's awful. I wish it didn't exist.

      Delete
  3. Life must be extremely hard for you. We all take for granted the things that you can no longer do, not realising how fortunate we are, until of course it happens to us and then we completely understand how you feel. I hope you can find more people online that you can "chat" with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I enjoy reading your posts. They're put together well. You might get thought of as a chav by the few bloggers that exist out there, but you'll always be highly rated by me.

      Delete
  4. Hi Treey, I think that if you keep digging long enough you'll find support. Maybe one of those link that Lee posted might have some hope for you.

    I know I get more than frustrated with my computer and server when I find myself powerless to make things work like it should. I lived without a computer for a long time but now I feel that I need my computer. It makes my life easier and I can get things done quickly.

    Hang in there, the squeaky wheel gets the grease like the saying goes.
    Hugs, Julia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Julia,

      Trump has caused some very personable discussions. I just hope my vies aren't too controversial.

      Delete
    2. Trees, for two days solid I've been so busy working at the farm, cleaning out calf pens and scrubbing and moving calves around , not to mention feeding and bedding them beside my other chores and visitors that I haven't had much time to watch the news and trump's twitter comments. He's difficult to figure out and I've lost interest in him by now.
      Yes, trump has caused a lot of stir and he's very controversial.
      I try to respect people's opinion as I don't know where they come from or what they have been through. I don't like politic although my husband is very interested in politic and I try to stay away from it if I can avoid it.

      The good politicians gets corrupted once in politic. It's dog eat dog world out there. It's one side against the other and in the ends, it's the poor people who gets hurt. They spent too much time fighting and not enough time working for the people.

      Hugs, Julia

      Delete
  5. I'm glad you're getting support if that's what you want. I have a different view....that you are what ever you focus on...if you consider yourself depressed and disabled then you are. I'm not dismissing your true situation or your illnesses but I know when I was facing blindness....I figured after all I had already been through (think Job from the bible) someone was trying to get my attention and unless I paid attention it was not going to get any better. So, although I am a Christian and had what I thought was a 'relationship with Christ'.......it wasn't really.....underneath it all I thought I could control my own life....I was wrong. I don't care what religion you are or aren't...I believe we need to have faith in something bigger than ourselves (and no, that is NOT Trump! LOL!). It has made all the difference in my life and I am happy and healthy to the best of my ability. I am alone but never lonely and I never joined a 'support group' because I was not going to sit around and with others and focus on the negatives in my life. I had a girlfriend once who told me that whenever anything bad happens to you...you get 48 hours to feel sorry for yourself and then it's time to put it behind you and get moving forward. The picture you posted showed people who did not allow their disability to define them. If you think you are disabled then you are.....I wouldn't have known if you hadn't said anything....you weren't 'disabled' in my mind and you still aren't......no, I have not walked in your shoes so I cannot know what you are going through....all I know is that no one gets through this life without some kind of heartache and some seem to get more than their share! I also know that there is always someone worse off than you. Try focusing on the positive things in your life and be grateful for those and see if that helps. It helped me tremendously. If you can't change your situation then try changing your attitude towards your situation.....that is something you can control! Best of luck and I pray there are happier days ahead for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Sam, I take the piss out of everyone I can. It helps me a lot. A carer says to me "what have you go to smile about?" And I think to myself that everybody takes things too seriously at times. What religion am I? I don't believe in it. More people have died because of religion in this world than you can mention. My48 hours of feeling sorry for myself have been and gone. I don't feel anything to be honest. I know I'll be like this until I die,but I've accepted it and don't worry about it anymore. It's history.

      Delete
  6. At different times in my life I have needed to connect with people that are going through the same thing that I am going through. When I had Sciatica I joined several Sciatica Facebook groups. When my mom was diagnosed with blood clots I was terrified out of my mind and joined several groups on Facebook of people dealing with blood clots and people taking care of elderly parents. When I was heavily into my low carb/high fat diet, I joined groups of people interested in the same thing. Now on my art journey I below to several groups of like minded people that share in my interest.

    Many will tell you that Facebook is a waste of time, it's for idiots, it's passe...and on and on with the insults. But to tell you the truth, I love it and think it is one of the greatest inventions ever.

    You have the capability of blogging, so I would suggest you get a Facebook profile and find a group for people with disabilities, try different ones, some of them can be negative and depressing but some of them can be uplifting and helpful. What do you lose if you don't like it? You just delete the program.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Alicia,

      I'll check out the links posted by Lee.
      I don't do Facebook, sorry.

      Delete
  7. Me again, sorry treey, I misspelled your name in my comment.
    Julia

    ReplyDelete
  8. We should never taken anything for granted in life. It can change in a second.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. It's only right that we should enjoy moment as though it's our last because, one day, it probably will be.

      Delete
  9. Whether it's a rant or a thoughtful rage, I have learned a lot from you. Thank you for being so forthright and providing us with insight from your perspective. There are many bloggers who make a fantastic living from writing their blog. Have you thought of monetizing yours? Back in 1993 or so, I attended an Americans With Disabilities Act conference in Washington DC, which introduced the passage of that Act in the USA. There were many disabled speakers who discussed their employment, and I have to think after all those years surely there must be opportunities for such a well spoken person as yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. My posts would be like selling-out if I ever made money from them and who would be daft enough to pay money for reading them. I certainly wouldn't. I get fed up with reading the adverts on Adam's website.

      Delete
  10. Don't get raged, that is the answer!!!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts