It was 1990. I was 30 years old and everything was going to plan. No wife and no kids to hold me back. And neither would there ever be. My life would be lonely, yeah but that never bothered me a great deal. Then in October of that year i met Mandy. My life was going to change forever. We did everything together. No longer did i live for myself. In some ways i'm glad i met her and in other ways i'm not. I was prepared to live out my life as a hermit, but it didn't work out that way. I don't want to pass on my genes if i can help it.
Mandy is my best friend and there isn't anything i wouldn't do for her. I have learned to appreciate her company over the many years we've been together. She has shown how much i mean to her since my illness happened in 2013. Jon (my son) comes a close second.
Jon has proved what a great person he is on many occasions. He's 25 now and i have been missing for most of his childhood. That's probably what i regret most, but these things happen to us when we least expect it. We can't do anything about it. I wish we could.
It's been hard for me, but Mandy and Jon both try to help. So here i am with a wife and son. I never thought it would happen. My mind sometimes goes back to that day in 1990. It just goes to show you what can occur. Never assume anything in life, because it just won't happen the way you think it will. I remember those days at Blackburn Road in Barwell with affection. They were great days. I just wish i knew what lay in store.
I'll try not to make the same mistakes again. Living like this gives me plenty of time to think where i went wrong. I don't like to think too much. That's why i read books. Not all books have been great to read, though. Most have.
Most mornings are the same for me. I miss walking like crazy. Mandy doen't really like computers, but i do. It's changed over the years. Blogging is a great release. Bingo is a great release for Mandy. She'll need a holiday from me soon enough and, even rhough i don't have one she deserves hers.
Oh yes, life can change in a heart-beat. Usually for the negative. The positive changes seem to take longer. Or is that just me?
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you have Mandy and Jon in your life, unexpected as it was.
I agree with you about blogging. It has broadened my world exponentially.
Blogging has been a help to m. I can't deny it.
DeleteYou are so right. We should never assume anything in life. Things can change in a heart beat. I'm glad you have these two people in your life that care about you. And blogging is great. I've met some pretty amazing people over the years.
ReplyDeleteI love Io read what other people have been up to. It's so therapeutic. Why people don't reply to me on my blog I don't know, but I try not to let it bother me. The people that DO use it I thank.
DeleteIt's great that you have both of them. My daughter just turned 26 and she has a 4 yer old son. None of know what the future holds for us.
ReplyDeleteThey are a great help. My son is 26.in November! How cool is that? They start off as babies and then they grow up. The future takes us all by surprise, Mary. We just don't know what's going to happen do we?
DeleteAnything can happen when we least expect it. It's nice that you and Mandy found each other and are still together and that you also have Jon. Life has a lot to teach us but sometime the lessons are difficult.
ReplyDeleteI hope Mandy wins at Bingo. It makes it even more exciting.
Hugs, Julia
we've been together 27 years this year. I hope she wins at bingo too.
DeleteWhy were you missing for Jon's childhood? and does he think that?
ReplyDeleteI had the stroke whe he was only 20. It's the last thing you want to happen. It's mad a better person of him.
DeleteIt takes a good person to step up to a crisis. You did something right with him
DeleteKylie, everything I do with him is right.
ReplyDeleteHi Treey, thanks for the comment on my hot sauce. This one has more heat than flavour and a little goes a long way.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to disappoint you with my infrequent blogging but my life is pretty busy. I wake up at 5:00am to go care for the calves then I come in to have breakfast. I catch-up with my emails and comment on blogs and do household chores and before I know it, it's time to prepare a hot lunch for my husband and the hired help.
We have a dairy farm and I take care of the business mail and pay bills on line, do the banking, filing and get feed for the calves and do grocery, and yard work and go back to our dairy farm for the late afternoon feeding and bedding. When I'm done working, it doesn't leave me much time to blog anymore but I have some picture in my camera but not enough time to post unfortunately.
If you want to read more of my blog in your spare time to amuse yourself, you can scroll to the bottom of my posts and click on the older post.
Hugs, Julia
Thanks Julia, I know how busy you are and I really appreciate you getting in touch with me. I'll check out your blog now and see what else I can find. The post you did today was super and I really enjoyed reading it.
DeleteNope..never assume, never take anything for granted, be grateful for the small blessings...your wife and son are your blessings and blogger of course, let\s never forget blogger.
ReplyDeleteHow can we forget blogging. I never take anything for granted, believe me.
ReplyDeleteProbably everyone looks back on their lives and thinks they could have done it differently. I certainly do, but whatever mistakes I made are now in the past and hell, I won't be making the same ones again that's for sure. You sure did something good in your life to still have Mandy and your son close by.
ReplyDeleteLiving in Greece in a small community I have learnt close up that we really don't know how our lives will be from one moment to the next. Enjoy what you've got right now. What I enjoy is writing my blog about my life here.
One day I hope to write the 'real story' for my kids. They only know half of the story lol!!!
We have had our ups and downs. Everyone does.
DeleteFamily is so very valuable. I have a daughter and two grandchildren now. Wish they lived closer but we still keep in touch.
ReplyDeleteThat's good to hear, John.
DeleteThere is never a detailed map given to us of how our life will be...how it will turn out.
ReplyDeleteI've married and divorced twice....and have remained on friendly terms with both..
I've lived alone now since 1986...and I never get lonely. I love living alone...just me and my two furry rascals. I would have it no other way...and yes, I am a bit of a hermit...by choice.
I can't recall ever feeling lonely. There is a difference, in my opinion, between loneliness and alone.
Mistakes...we all make them...none of us are perfect...even those who believe they are. :)
I appreciate that, Lee. Good reply and thanks for responding.
DeleteThis resonates with particular poignancy: I am 29 years old, preoccupied with the future, and newly cognizant of the fact that 30 in fact still represents a person's younger years. Your writing is a caution and a comfort. Caution that life offers unanticipated obstacles, comfort that a partner may yet be lurking around a corner. Thank you for putting this piece out there.
ReplyDeleteThanks BrightenedBoy.
DeleteIt's good to see a new face. We all make mistakes. We just have to live with them.
You are blessed with a wife and a son. And they seem to be good caring people, from your description of them. They are there for you when you need them. Aren't you lucky?
ReplyDeleteI think so...
DeleteI'm glad that your wife and son are solidly in your corner. It helps so much when a person is facing challenges. It sounds like you and Mandy are a good match. And I'm sure you would have done the same for her if your roles were reversed.
ReplyDeleteI would have done the same fo her...
ReplyDeleteAs others have also said, we should never assume anything in life. Changes can happen in a heart beat.
ReplyDeleteFamily and friends can be so important at times like this and I'm pleased you have two people in your life that care about you.
I've found that blogging is great, and there are some good people out in blogland ...
All the best Jan
They're important to me.
ReplyDelete