There were two books that i started to read today. They were so crap that i didn’t bother with them. So i looked online for inspiration. “Fuck it” i thought “i can do better than this” i’m just bored of looking at the four walls of my room and not knowing what lies ahead. Every disabled person must feel like that. Even if you’re able-bodied you wonder what’s around the next corner. What is life going to throw at me? I always seem to manage but i wonder if i can’t.
Being disabled these last six years has been an uphill battle of going to hospital after hospital. I’m amazed at myself for getting through it all and just putting it down to experience. I never thought this would happen to me but in the history of life there have been people who have put up with far worse than i have and they don’t moan about it. Besides, you should think how lucky you are to be alive. Except i don’t. A part of me wants to cry about it, while the rest of me just wants to be able to walk.
Disability has made me see things differently. I feel like Scrooge. Please send me back. There are things i need to do first. I go to bed really early and get up really late. That’s doesn’t happen very often.
I’m in the middle of a dream and that doesn’t happen very often either. I wake up and suddenly it hits me - i’m disabled and this is how it is. I started out as Sean Connery but finished as Charlie Drake and waking up is so disappointing, like it normally is.
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That sucks a ton. I don't know what to say, Terry . Yes, you are still alive but that doesn't mean you can't moan. It makes perfect sense.
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