I've been in Hinckley since March 2014. It was late in March - I don't remember the exact date, but but it was about 11p pm at night, when i first got there. I was so hungry that i had a cheese sandwich when i arrived. I'd been waiting since 10 in the morning and i'd smoked several cigarettes as well. It had even looked as if i wouldn't be travelling. I was so excited to be leaving Leamington after all of those months. I was going back to the place i that grew up in. Where my family were.
The place i was to be living at was Kingly House. It was a place i'd delivered to years earlier when i was working at MJMorris, so it felt a bit strange going back there now. If i'd known years ago that i'd be living here in the future i wouldn't have believed it. There are lots of things about the future i wouldn't have believed.
The fact that i lived in a hospital in Leamington Spa for nine months, a place i had never been to, was something i could never have imagined.
Going to north Wales in an articulated truck was amazing for me. This was something new! Kingly House was to give me new adventures. All of them involved me and a lot of pain. I spent a week at Leicester hospital, suffering unimagineable hardship. That was the worst experience of my life so far. It was even worse than going back to Leicester with a gash to my forehead. It's a gash that's still there. Even now.
I don't doubt, for one minute, that there are people who have had worse experiences than me. There are a lot of people who have had it easier. It would be ineresting to see how other people would've coped with the situations i've been in and would they have reacted differently.
There will come a time when this is all a memory. In fact whether anyone will ever remember it is doubtful. We don't last forever. This will all be someone else's dream one day.
There will come a time when this is all a memory. In fact whether anyone will ever remember it is doubtful. We don't last forever. This will all be someone else's dream one day.
When reality becomes memory and memory a faint dream...as though it happened to someone else....for some events that's the best time Why is it the unpleasant memories are the last to fade away? We've gotten old....there are so many moments of 'remember when' now and sadly, quite often, I don't. I hope your bad memories fade away soon.
ReplyDeleteThey are some very good memories accentuated by the bad ones. I met Mandy when I was in my 30s. I never thought I would have that in my life, but I did. Only when I met her did I start living.
DeleteMemory can be a tricky beast. Like time.
ReplyDeleteI do my best to hang onto the good ones and let the others fade. Not always successfully.
We're just capsules in time is how I like to look at it. Hanging on to the good memories doesn't mean much the older you get.
ReplyDeleteI have to remind myself that memories are in the past. The present is what's important now.
ReplyDeleteYes. We will soon be forgotten and that's how it should be.
DeleteMy Dad used to say, "As long as someone speaks your name and tells the stories, you will never die." I still find myself telling the stories of ancestors that I was told as I grew up. They live on
DeleteThey'll be glad to be remembered.
DeleteWe never know what the future holds for us.
ReplyDeleteNo,. It's probably best that we don't know too much. Today, a football fan died. He was only 6! What kind of life is that? Life can be cruel sometimes. His parents must be beside themselves with grief. I'd hate to be involved because I just don't think I could hack it. We have to live with it though. No matter how sad it is for us. There must be loads of people who are grieving, for whatever reason, at the way life is. Just be thankful you're not one of them. Maybe you are.
DeleteBut you are the only person who has experienced your pain, hardships and discomfort; the only one who experiences your thoughts, your emotions. They are all yours, and yours alone; no one else has suffered your sufferings, only you have. Others may and can commiserate, but no one else feels what another feels.
ReplyDeleteAnd one's memories are one's own. When I wander off from this Life...my memories will wander off with me.... :)
I'm not the only one who is gong through this, Lee. It's a big world out there. You
ReplyDeleteI realise that, Treey. I really am more intelligent than to say something like what you think I said. You have misunderstood my meaning. I'm not saying you're the only one....I'm saying only you are the one feeling your pain...your stresses and anxieties.
DeleteSorry, I didn't phrase it properly.
DeleteEvery day is a journey that we don't know where we'll end up. And every day eventually becomes a memory.
ReplyDeleteWe don't know we'll end up. This much is true.
DeleteI wouldn't want to know my future. And I'm glad I didn't, for some of the things I've lived through. I'm a worrier so it would have caused me too much anxiety! It's a funny feeling, though, isn't it, to look back before something big changed in our lives, and think about the person we were before it happened.
ReplyDeleteYes it is. I'm glad I moved out of Leamington Hospital when I did. I never went anywhere or did anything while I was there.
ReplyDelete