I'm beginning to doubt whether my marriage to Mandy is a good thing or not.. We've been married for two years now and though we get on ok, i would hate it if she ever blamed me for ruining her life. I've got to say, at this point, that any confidence i ever had in myself as a human being has been lost; i've lost the ability to walk and talk; i'm having hallucinations; and am just so miserable about myself in general. My decision to quit smoking had backfired on me - i'm so argumentative with everyone. I'm in a dark place right now. I'm suffering from....the stress factor.
Dealing with stress is so essy when you're 'normal'. I'm not 'normal' though. I can't go for a run or talk about it with anyone. My next-door neighbour does concorde impressions. He's a heavy smoker and to coughs a lot. Now i know how it sounds when Concorde comes in to land. .We don't have anywhere to go to go to to get away from the constant coughing noise he makes. It's disgusting. We don't have anywhere to go - a quiet room - to get away from the constant noise of pop music Trudi likes it loud. From 8am till as late as she can. Not everybody like it that loud. Especially when you're trying to read a book.
It'll take a lot to see the end of me and Mandy. We've been together for 27 years and she helps to destress me. If it wasn't for her help i'd be a lot worse off. I've got my ipad whiich helps a lot. It's brilliant and i wouldn't do without it. Having a sense of humour and taking the piss out of everything i see is something i enjoy doing. Giving up smoking is important. It means i can do anything i want. It takes strength of character to do it. All of the smokers there - there are quite a few - haven't a cat in hells chance of doing it.
But managing stress is a full-time occupation for me . Sometimes, i struggle with it. Cooking used to help me, but i can't do it these days. It's a mental health issue that won't go away. I've seen my friend suffer from it. Stress is something you have to take seriously.
My hubby Ken quite smoking 6 years ago. He got sick and had pneumonia and just couldn't smoke for over a week. Once he was better he just decided not to smoke again which was great. Cigarettes are about $8 a pack here now so I can't imagine too many people still smoking unless they have a lot of extra money.
ReplyDeleteGood thing. I can't see the point of smoking. It's just a waste of time and money too. It's a major cause of strokes and yet, so many people do it still. I used to do it. When will anyone ever learn about the dangers of smoking?
DeleteStress and anxiety (and their incestous cousin depression) are skilled and practised liars. Defeating them is often a never-ending war. Win one battle and another starts. Good luck, and take it day by day if you can. And accept any help offered.
ReplyDeleteThank you EC. Stress can be such a large factor that one forgets everything else.
ReplyDeleteJust popped in to thank you for visiting my blog...hope you come back again and visit. I'm sorry you are feeling so stressed right now..as to 'normal' .... well, not sure exactly what that is but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't fit the description lol. If you are feeling up to it there are a couple of activities some of the folks that visit me are involved in...Words For Wednesday and Poetry Monday. We're always happy to see new faces join in. No rules involved...just writing, reading and fun. Take care and drop in again soon.
ReplyDeleteI'll pop by again.. Thanks for leaving a comment. Always good to see you.
DeleteMy ex used to give up smoking every 1st January...and then World War lll would break out for the next couple of weeks until his birthday on 11th January! lol And that happened year after year! He still smokes!
ReplyDeleteI used to be a smoker...but I am no longer; but I'm not a "born-again" smoker, either...one who enjoys lecturing others - or goes around lecturing others... about the "why fors" and "why nots". I enjoyed smoking. I'll never take it up again, but I often wish it wasn't bad for one's health, because it does help....no mater what so many people say...in easing stress! Don't beat yourself up about it...one day at a time...one hour at a time.
Perhaps you could get a set of earphones...either for you or for Mandy, or for both of you...to allow you to listen to music when it suits the individual....and allow you to have peace and quiet when you want it.
Stress is not easy to handle and/or manage, It's intangible and invisible while being so destructive...and painful. And it's difficult for another to understand what you're feeling within....a lay person really can't help, other than by giving an "ear", the that help is fleeting. It's something that is difficult to discuss with another, too. Maybe going down the path of seeing a professional is the way to go, if you're not already doing so.
I wish you well, Treey. I feel sure you will come out the conqueror! Don't be beaten. Take care. :)
I don't lecture anyone on smoking. It's their life. I take the piss out of Pauline for not having the willpower to give up. It gives me so much pleasure to do so. I'm a pleasure seeker. Thanks for stopping by.
DeleteI maybe didn't make myself clear...I don't lecture anyone about smoking. That's not who I am...or what I'm like. One's choices are one's own...as are one's decisions.
DeleteIf anyone tells me not to do something, just to nark them, I most likely will do it! lol
I don't lecture either. It's your own choice what you do.
DeleteNoise is a huge stress factor for me, too. If I had to live with constant loud music blaring, I'd go nuts! Smoke from others affects me as well. My downstairs and next-door-neighbours all smoke; their smoke comes wafting into my rooms when they are out on their patio or balcony and I have the windows open, as is mostly the case in the summer.
ReplyDeleteI like Lee's suggestion about earphones/headphones. They may help to reduce at least some of what stresses you. Also, seeing as you do not have the option to handle stress by running/walking/going somewhere else, I think her suggestion to seek professional help is very sensible.
Thank you for having visited my blog!
You're welcome. I've read it before believe it or not.
DeleteI know that terrible/disgusting coughing sound. My husband used to smoke two packs a day till he had a heart attack. Now we have quiet nights, except for a little snoring.
ReplyDeleteAnd loud music, well that can literally drive me crazy. Loud tv, our deaf neighbour who listens to the news at 4am. Totally annoying.
Keep writing and taking the piss out of everything and everyone. Let's of some steam and amuses us!
My next-door neighbeur, as well as coughing, is as deaf as a post and .has his music on REALLY loud. But it's his coughing that really annoys me. I deserve a medal for putting up with it. I would prefer a knighthood, actually.. He sounds so bad I sometimes think he's on deaath's door. I wish he'd get medical advice too.
ReplyDeleteStress is definitely something to be taken very seriously. It brings many problems with it. And I totally understand about the noise. Having some quiet time is important. It's too bad there isn't a quiet room for you to go to. I'm so surprised they don't have one. Does writing about all these thoughts and emotions help?
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it helps, but I write about it anyway. I don't like writing that much. It's what I experience as a disabled person so it must be helping somebody somewhere. It's my story and I have to get it off my chest.
DeleteMy son has a cough at the moment. It's just a garden variety viral cough and he can't help it but i could cheerfully strangle him at times! It's beyond annoying.
ReplyDeleteLiving in a care home must be like living in a family house, everyone has some annoying habit you wish you could escape from only a care home has twice as many people and less options to get away
Living in a care home, like I do, has its ups and downs. Sometimes you have to take the rough with the smooth and move on. The residents are a bit of a pain in the arse, but they probably think the same about me. The staff here do a pretty good job to see that we stay in line. No problem.
ReplyDeleteSome people don't like to talk about the disabled. As I am one I don't have a problem writing about it. I think it's important that I do. We have to get our point of view across so that people understand what we have to go through
Oh dear. Your description of the cougher is all too familiar. My dad had COPD which was like having the worst case of bad bronchitis ALL the time. His cough was terrible and I can only hope the other residents forgave him, because he couldn't help it. He had been a smoker for years, but as well he was an auto mechanic for years, and that contributed (the vehicle exhaust and the grease solvents, before the days of proper ventilation in the garages). He had to cough to get rid of the secretions in his bronchial tubes. He was always apologizing for it. It also exhausted him at times, he coughed so hard. My daughter couldn't visit for any length of time because the coughing and spitting and so on made her gag! I'm sorry you have to listen to it.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds as though he never had it easy.
ReplyDeleteThe smoking situation is riciulous. It should be banned, but that's like taking someone's rights away. That I know all too well. What can you do? Something has to give way somewhere.