If I can do this I can do anything
I’ve never believed in fairytales, until it happened to me, that is. I wouldn’t call it a fairytale. It’k more like a nightmare.
How can can an organisation so morally corrupt as SALT is, take my rights away and say i have no mental capacity to claim them back?
Today is the 90th day since i’ve had sugar. I HAVE NO MENTAL CAPACITY!
it’s been a year since i’ve smoked. i HAVE NO MENTAL CAPACITY!
i’m a vegetarian. I HAVE NO MENTAL CAPACITY! I must be atree hugger.
I’m not a vegetarian - i’m a vegetable. They HAVE NO MENTAL CAPACITY!
i really feel, at this moment, that life isn’t worth living.
if it gets much worse i will do something about it.
This week i felt as if my whole world came
crashing down around me.
it wasn’t a good feeling to have, believe me.
i decided there and then that i would eat everything put in front of me. I didn’t care what it tasted like.
that’s my new ambition in life. I said to Chloe (a carer) “if i can do this, i can do anything.” I needed that. It focuses my mind on something more positive and i know i can achieve it. It’s a-one-day-at-a-time thought process. I’m definitely up for the challenge. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
it will start off as one day but it will soon be more and more as days go by.
You should try it if you’re up for it. I’ll even eat swede, beetroot and cauliflower if i have to. I just don’t care.
My situation has worsened in that i find it hard to talk. I spend a lot of time sleeping too. Sometimes it’s all day even. So, i’ve had some bad news but have made it more positive. I have to stay positive. It’s what i do. The staff here have been brilliant. Maria, the cook, made me the most beautiful chili today. I just live day by day as anybody would.
it feels quite strange to wake up everyday and live out the life of someone who is disabled. I’ve never imagined what it would be like. I think i must have the first signs of dementia because i forget things now that i used to remember easily. i haven’t blogged for a while but i’ve been so unwell. So unwell that they are sending a doctor to see me. There’s nothing i can do about it. One of my fellow residents, who was younger than me, died recently. It shocked me and put the fear of God into me. If anything ever happened to Mandy and Jonny i’d have nothing left to live for. I often think i’m a special case and i don’t mean that in a good way. Anything that could go wrong - has. I should have ended it all when i was 10 i didn’t have the guts back then. Now i do.