I close my eyes....


I spend most of the day with my eyes closed. I’m not tired, in fact i’m very much awake. It feels so natural to me. To other people it doesn’t. They keep asking me if i’m ok. It’s probably as a result of my condition that i’m like this. I was never like this before the stroke. Now, i am. I quite happily listen to my ipad and close my eyes. Keeping them open is the biggest burden i face during the day. I keep them open just to see where i’m going. I suppose i must be a vegetable. If not now, then i will be in the future.

You feel like you should suffer, but instead you just get a feeling of “it’ll be alright”. Oh, there’s pain and you feel it. You definitely feel it, but the pain has been with me for so long now that i’m used to it. I know that nothing will ever change as far as that’s concerned. I don’t believe we are ‘lucky’ to be alive. Mine is a different feeling altogether.

put anybody in my position and ask them if they feel lucky...

Comments

  1. Whatever works for you.
    And the people who throw around the lucky tag need to think before they open their mouths. Would they feel lucky? Almost certainly not.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wise words EC. I can’t add anything which is more meaningful.

      Delete
  2. Your brain is still working, so you are not a vegetable! But I understand the rest of what you are saying. Being alive and living are not necessarily the same thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There’s a huge difference. I just accept it. There’s nothing I can do about it.

      Delete
  3. I think the lucky ones are those who never had a stroke or pass on shortly after a stroke or those who get help in time before the damage occurs.. They and their family don't suffer as long.
    A stroke changes everything. Nothing is ever the same after a stroke.
    You are right, unless someone is in your position, we can't know what it's like.
    Hugs, Julia

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Living after having a stroke can mean big changes or none at all. To me, it is the former. Don’t think that I’m complaining because I’m not. I’m just saying.

      Delete

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