Even though i have some struggles in my life i can't let them get the better of me. I have to think positive about things and plough on. Ok, i'm suffering from an illness from which there is no cure. That i know and that's the bad stuff out of the way, but there's hope for the future and what will happen. You just don't know what's going to happen. It's like unwrapping a Christmas present. What will you get?
As i look back on what has been, there are mistakes i've made. Who can't say that? One can't go from situation to situation and not have regrets about things? Shit happens. All you can do is learn from your mistakes. You won't be the first to have got it wrong and you won't be the last. That's for sure.
Living life will never be easy for me, but that's a cross i have to bear. It will be a hard life. That's the way it must be. Still, it could be worse. I could be a Villa fan and that will never do.
There are things that i miss; playing cricket or going for a drink. But things are different now and it's no use crying over spilt milk. It's more a case of 'life is what you make of it'. There are people who are far worse off than me, so i shouldn't moan about it. How they get through life with a smile on their face amazes me.
I gave up smoking about four weeks ago and it's all about having the willpower to succeed. Once you can do that you can do anything. Believe me. It's never easy, but you find a way. You can do most things you set your mind on. Every morning (if you're like me) you suffer from pain. It's a lot to put up with, but i'm sure other people could put up with it. You talk to people about dols and they tell you they "not going to get into a discussion about it" Why not for fucks sake? If people become carers it's no use taking that fucking attitude.
You can get by without their help. They're not all like that, thank god. Some are really great! You may become the next Jeffrey Archer (ex MP) or Chris Ryan or Andy McNab (former SAS soldiers) who write for a living. Time on their hands is something they have plenty of. Everybody wants to read your story (providing it's interesting enough.)
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I hear you. Pain is something I live with, and my ailment has no cure either.
ReplyDeleteI can let it get the better of me, or I can keep going. Mostly.
We are all entitled to a paddle in the pity pool from time to time. It isn't a problem I don't think until the paddle becomes a wallow.
And yes, some people amaze me. For good and bad.
"Oh you bleeder!" Is a phrase I use quite often in honour of Ken (who uses it all the time).
ReplyDeleteIt's true: none of us know what is in store, good or bad. I don't know how my dad was as cheerful as he was, and he was in about the same situation as you are. He was amazing.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand carers who don't care, either. Thank god for the other ones who do.
And kudos to you on quitting smoking for four weeks now - that is a huge accomplishment. Do you find any changes in your breathing or sense of taste, etc.?
No really. I know that smoking can be a major factor in having a stroke. I might not be so lucky next time. The guy next-door coughs and splutters because of his addiction and I just don't want to be the same.
ReplyDeleteLife is so unpredictable. We never know what's in store for us. Good for you for quitting smoking. That's not an easy thing to do!
ReplyDeleteYeah, you never know what's going to happen.
DeleteYes! Yes! That's something you could aim to do and actually do! It could take you many hours. The story of your stroke. Before it happened when it happened and afterwards. It could be a general interest article for say a Sunday magazine or it could be a full length tome that you could self-publish via Amazon for free. Then the story would be out there for others to appreciate.
ReplyDeleteWell done on giving up smoking! Don't slip back into it. Nicotine addiction can be very cunning - sneaking back up on you when you least expect it.
I'm more of a reader than a writer. The anti-smoking thing is something I had to do.
ReplyDeleteHi, Terry...I thought you deleted your blog. I am delighted to see you posting. and I think YOU should write a book. It would most likely make the Best Seller list.
ReplyDeleteWe have been fighting a hard battle here..my sweet husband was told he has brain cancer. In his motor skills area so they won't operate. He's going to die from this but, of course, no one knows how much longer he has. He went from a healthy 82 year old almost over night to a weak, unable to walk and his whole right side is affected. He's in a rehab facility right now...it is just heartbreaking....
My dad is 82 on the 28th of this month. I hope everything goes ok bj . Love your blog and wish you all the best x
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