Even though i have some struggles in my life i can't let them get the better of me. I have to think positive about things and plough on. Ok, i'm suffering from an illness from which there is no cure. That i know and that's the bad stuff out of the way, but there's hope for the future and what will happen. You just don't know what's going to happen. It's like unwrapping a Christmas present. What will you get?
As i look back on what has been, there are mistakes i've made. Who can't say that? One can't go from situation to situation and not have regrets about things? Shit happens. All you can do is learn from your mistakes. You won't be the first to have got it wrong and you won't be the last. That's for sure.
Living life will never be easy for me, but that's a cross i have to bear. It will be a hard life. That's the way it must be. Still, it could be worse. I could be a Villa fan and that will never do.
There are things that i miss; playing cricket or going for a drink. But things are different now and it's no use crying over spilt milk. It's more a case of 'life is what you make of it'. There are people who are far worse off than me, so i shouldn't moan about it. How they get through life with a smile on their face amazes me.
I gave up smoking about four weeks ago and it's all about having the willpower to succeed. Once you can do that you can do anything. Believe me. It's never easy, but you find a way. You can do most things you set your mind on. Every morning (if you're like me) you suffer from pain. It's a lot to put up with, but i'm sure other people could put up with it. You talk to people about dols and they tell you they "not going to get into a discussion about it" Why not for fucks sake? If people become carers it's no use taking that fucking attitude.
You can get by without their help. They're not all like that, thank god. Some are really great! You may become the next Jeffrey Archer (ex MP) or Chris Ryan or Andy McNab (former SAS soldiers) who write for a living. Time on their hands is something they have plenty of. Everybody wants to read your story (providing it's interesting enough.)