I think disability has helped my depression. There is a good way of looking at things and there is a bad way too. Being disabled has given me a whole new perspective or a different way of looking at things. Instead of continuously seeing stuff in a bad light i am looking at the positives to find how i can benefit from being like this. The lack of sugar in my system (today is my 5th day of abstinence) could be affecting the way i think and behave. However, i feel more optimistic than i’ve felt for sometime about my depression.
I see more people than i ever did before which means i’m only on my own when i want to be. Or if i want to be. My wife understands that i need to be left alone sometimes. I’m always glad to see her, mind you. She always has a positive effect on me.
Giving up smoking and being free of sugar are things i’m proud to have achieved. Being disabled has shown me what can cause a stroke and what i can do to prevent one happening in future.
i want to thank the people i see who make it ok to be disabled. I owe them everything. I also want to thank the people who understand what depression is.
i never knew my best friend suffered from depression but i wished i had. I can’t blame him from hiding it though. My most notable achievement has to be my discipline. The way i deal with pain is something i couldn’t handle. Now i can. It’s not something i spend a lot of time thinking about. I’m not bigging myself up either. I read a book about an SAS soldier who underwent amazing feats of endurance during his lifetime in the armed forces. It’s kind of what i go through each day.
Being disabled has changed my life quite a lot. Anybody who goes through it all could say the same but they don’t really have a choice about it do they? Being depressed is something i’ve had my entire life. I wish i didn’t have it. Being disabled hasn’t entirely made me forget about being depressed it but it’s made it come a close second.
I have heard patients and ex patients from my old Spinal injuries unit paraphrase this statement .
ReplyDeleteApparently it’s okay for me to smoke 40 fags, get cancer and die than to .eat a piece of toasted white bread. Give me fucking strength?
DeleteHi Terry :) Your post was very good to read for me today. My anxiety has trumped my depression for sure. I had a bit of a hard time last night. Damn thing. But you are right, what choice do we have? I guess accepting and living as best we can DESPITE the disability...or letting it get the better of us. It's a daily challenge that's for sure. Oh gosh, I gave up sugar and caffeine before and had some withdrawals...headache mostly...the body really does get used to the "fix" doesn't it? Hugs! :)
ReplyDeleteHi Rain. I had to laugh. They asked me what activities I want to do.i say “parachute jumping without a parachute” they think i’m Joking..i’m Not.
DeleteYour post sounds very encouraging! I think a lot of people suffer from depression but we just don't know about it. There is still too much stigma and misunderstanding associated with it.
ReplyDeleteHey Martha, depression is a terrible thing to have. It can destroy you quite easily and there’snothing You can do about it. I can remember being in the house alone and just breaking into tears. There’s nowhere you can hide from it.
DeleteMy dad appreciated the people who visited him and treated him like he was still able-bodied. Not many could do it. Being in a wheelchair seemed to make people talk louder (as if he was deaf), talk in simple sentences (as if he was stupid), and ignore him and talk about him as if he wasn't even there (as if he couldn't understand). I could see in his face that he felt like you: "give me strength!!"
ReplyDeleteLol. It’s a bit like that here. People have a job understanding me I know, but i’ve been like this for five years now. I understand what you’re saying. It’s difficult at times.
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