A Change of Habit...

A few of you may have heard that i’m fighting a court case. Well, I lost it. “You have no mental capacity!” Is what they told me when trying to justify their position. I told them to “fuck off!”, to get out of my room and never come back. “You can’t talk to us like that. I’m a psychiatrist” is what one of them said. I looked at him and he looked back at me, nervously trying to work out where i’d hidden the magnum that i used on guests i didn’t like. “I can talk to you anyway i like” i said. “Now scram.” And they did. Knowing i’d lost the court case gave me a new lease of life. I decided to ditch the healthy lifestyle and concentrate on becoming a slob-like Homer Simpson again. What the hell is the point of doing things the right way when i get right royally fucked over at the first chance that comes their way?

In the five and a half years that i’ve been disabled i’ve only ever known SALT to be in charge. they’ve always tried to deceive me. And have been successful in doing so. You might say ‘how have they tried to deceive you?’ That would involve me talking. It’s something i can’t do very well. They know. I’d be the first to admit it.Try to imagine a pair of nails being pulled over a blackboard to imagine how frustrating it can be. Or a song that’s on full blast and you’re trying to make yourself heard above the noise. That’s what the relationship between me and SALT is like.

I’m not really happy about the change of habit because i’d worked so hard at making the change work. It was going so well too. I still drink water because the taste of a coffee and tea i don’t like. There’s a real danger to your health when you drink the amount of it i was drinking. The change back to the way i was hasn’t really helped me either but i still felt the need to do it. One thing that hasn’t changed - and never will - is the way i feel about SALT. Some things will NEVER change. Not as long as i have an hole in my arse.

i’m not sure what is happening, and i am sure it has nothing to do with the slobbish diet i am on, but i feel a sense of helplessness come over me. It happened yesterday as well. I’ve never felt this way before. It’s a natural kind of feeling. I still wish i had a machine gun and that SALT were lined up in front of me. It can’t be that bad then. I can feel a bit of a smile as i let rip with my weapon. It’s really good to see my tormentors run for cover. “You said you’re a psychiatrist. Make sense of that, you “scumbag” it feels naughty but nice. They’ll need to sort me out with a new pychiatrist after this one.