This morning i had to go for a blood test at the health centre. It meant i had to have another injection. I didn’t even feel the pain as i had the prick. There’s a joke in there somewhere, but i’m not in the mood for joking about. There’s a lot you can tell from a blood sample and i’m at the age when you worry about what it can show. In my twenties i never used to bother like i do now. I suppose it’s down to age that i feel different about living.
i really wish i’d done things differently when i was younger. I wish someone could have advised me and shown me the route i should have taken. My grandad used to say “everything in moderation” and he was right. If only i had listened to him instead of being headstrong and thinking that everything i knew was right. Looking back, everything i knew turned out to be wrong. I suppose we all make mistakes. I’m just glad that mine weren’t such big ones. They could have been though.The path i took was a very precarious one. It felt as though i’d jumped out of an aeroplane without a parachute on. If only i had a plan of action. Life was just one tragedy after another. I blame it all on depression. If only i had someone who would tell me where i was going wrong. I needed help but i never got it. My dad watched as i failed and failed. Not once did he tell me where i was going wrong. I needed him then. Helping your son is what it’s all about. At least it should be.